As a medical student in my early years, I remember thinking: “Once I finish my coursework and USMLE Step 1, then I’ll be happy.” Then, once I started my clerkships in medical school, I remember thinking, “Once I match and then graduate, then I’ll be happy.”
As an intern, I thought, “When I’m done with residency and match into a hematology/ oncology fellowship, then I’ll be happy and can finally relax.” Then, as a fellow I thought, “When I’m done with fellowship and finally finish my training, then I’ll be happy.”
Does this sound familiar to you? Have you faced similar patterns of thinking? In medical training, we often fall prey to this “arrival fallacy”—the belief that once we reach a goal, we can finally relax and be happy where we are.
But I have to tell you, it’s a lie.
The science of happiness tells us that feeling happy doesn’t come from reaching a pinnacle of achievement but from a deep presence in the here and now. It comes alongside the pursuit of meaningful goals. It comes with connection and gratitude for what each unique moment has to bring.
It can feel impossible to let go of the arrival fallacy in medical school and training because this way of thinking is pervasive. It’s not something we only tell ourselves, but others tell us, too.
“Don’t worry,” they’ll say. “This season might be tough, but it won’t last forever.” I’ve even caught myself saying this to others in residency because there is some truth to it. Things often get better after training, but that shouldn’t justify the mistreatment of residents or the ingrained belief that we should forgo all joy for a season to come to a future state of bliss.
Each moment is beautiful and unique. There is a gift in pursuing a hard goal, in being a beginner, in taking your time, in enjoying the process, and in finding contentment exactly where you are. Because none of us are finished, not when we finish training, and certainly not years into our careers.
So find joy along the journey, connect with people, find purpose in each day, be present, and be grateful for your progress, no matter how small. Make sure to celebrate the wins along the way.
This is such a better way to live.