Here are some things I've changed to protect my well-being:
1. Talking about it – in therapy and personal relationships
For too long, I tried to do it all alone. I experienced anxiety in med school and postpartum. I had thoughts of suicide in residency. I was worried I'd face career repercussions if I sought professional help. It wasn't until the end of my fellowship that I sought out a therapist, and I'm grateful I did.
My therapist specializes in counseling for clinicians. We talk about the loss of patients, the stressors of work, parenting, marital conflict--all of it. It's helpful for me both professionally and personally.
I've also started being more open in my relationships with my family members about mental health. This has been hard but has opened up space for deep conversations and connections.
2. Meditation for anxiety reduction
I developed some anxiety postpartum (especially on low-sleep nights). I was nursing my daughter and researching ways to reduce anxiety naturally. I came across meditation as a tool (and I was such a skeptic initially). It wasn't until I learned the data about GABA (the calming neurochemical that increased with meditation) that I decided to try it.
I used an app to learn and, after a few weeks, noticed a significant anxiety reduction.
Over time, I developed new ways to reframe my thinking and reset my physiology. This was helpful in parenting, but it also turned out to be beneficial before doing a procedure, giving a presentation, or trying to fall asleep on call.
If you're experiencing anxiety or having trouble falling asleep, you should give meditation a try.
3. Home office revamp
My clinical work and my hobby of fiction writing are both sedentary. I've been trying to get 90 minutes of movement daily, but balancing this with other responsibilities is hard.
So, I decided to make my workstation at home more focused on health.
I bought a bike at a second-hand sports store and a walking treadmill. I removed the handlebars from the bike and slid it under my desk.
I also put a yoga mat on the floor for intermittent stretching, got an electric kettle so I could make green and herbal tea, and filled the room with plants that were hard to kill (I recommend pothos and the ZZ plant).
These strategies have helped me get much more movement than I otherwise would and enjoy my work space much more.
4. Carving out the career I want
I’ve tried to prioritize my mental health with several career choices.
I chose to specialize in medical oncology, a field with meaningful patient relationships and few overnight emergencies. I work in a large academic practice, which allows me to limit overnight call and weekend shifts. While still working full time, I have two flexible days where I often attend meetings, catch up on clinical work, and write fiction. I also work closely with a registered nurse who supports me in clinic, helps with insurance issues, and answers inbox messages.
I generally have a regular sleep schedule and exercise consistently. My family and I take a vacation once a quarter. In the summer, I say no to extra stuff (like podcasts, talks, and meetings) as much as possible to protect this time with my family.
5. Getting clear on how I want to spend my time (and my life)
Practicing medicine can be all-consuming, and sometimes it can be hard to see the big picture.
I've created a document with my personal and career goals and look at it each morning. Then I look at how I'll spend my time over the day. If I'm spending time on lower-priority items, then I reassess.
The more we can clarify what will matter to us in later life, the easier it is to have clarity today.
If I'm angry or upset, I often ask myself, "Will this matter to me when I'm 80?" This reframing often helps.
Other things that have helped:
Creating a joy list and trying to include one thing per day. Going to bed when I'm tired. Being outdoors, especially nature walks and hikes. Dog therapy. Removing distractions and being present with others for a deeper connection. A gratitude practice on my commute. Listening to music. Regular video calls with good friends every Sunday. Lots (and lots) of laughter.
I hope these things can help you too. Sending you peace.